Somewhere inbetween being a mom & insanity!

Archive for nursing

As Long As I’m Living My Baby You’ll Be.

5:45AM the three year old wanders into our bedroom, not an unusual happening. He climbs into our bed, asking for mommy which, for daddys little man, is actually pretty unusual now. I try to cuddle into him but the whining and flailing kid just won’t go back to sleep. I rock him as good as I can lying down but that just won’t do either. Under his breath I hear him ask a question I haven’t heard in months. “Can I have noms?”, he says. It seems so out of the blue! It’s been at least 6 months since he’s nursed. My thoughts yesterday suddenly don’t seem so silly. All signs point to yes! He misses being a baby.


We spent a good portion of the day yesterday playing “baby”. His comfort object, a white and green stuffed dog, who we simply call puppy, was the center of most of the fun. He swaddled pup, fed him, burped him, “shh”ed him and took him upstairs to rock him to sleep. I followed shortly after to find him in the glider singing the words “Baby Beluga” over and over to his baby! Just like mommy & daddy used to do to him. I thought this had been long forgotten. It was one of those special moments that you wish you could have caught on camera. I tried to coax him into singing it again, camera ready, but the baby was asleep and ready for the crib. After pup was all tucked in, he asked “Can I be baby?” so into the crib he went.


We had played baby many times before, only come bedtime when he asked me to rock him and sing him Baby Beluga did I think may be this is something more. I was more than happy to give him extra snuggles and sing to him like many a nights when he was a little bub. I even felt a bit emotional about it all. I just wonder now that he is reverting back to wanting to nurse, if he’s missing the attachment or comfort. It makes me worry that I’m not providing him with something that he needs. Since he stopped breastfeeding, the quality cuddle time we used to get has gone down durasticly. But it never seemed to bother him even though it bothered me.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it. I’ve read about children wanting to revert back to sippy cups but never literally being a baby. I just don’t want to feel like this is because we’re depriving him of something he needs. I’m going to try to focus part of the day today on all the good things about being a big boy.


But if he wants to be a baby, I’ll let him.


Has your child ever reverted back to wanting to be a baby? How did you handle it?


Attached To Breastfeeding

If Lyric nurses as long as Raine, it will be over 5 years straight that I have been breastfeeding. Yes, sometimes I just want my nipple back. And I will never forget the time I had six milk blisters at the same time on one from my youngest as a newborn. Or the plugged duct that caused such painful engorgement I couldn’t even sleep on my right side. (Luckily we were tandem nursing then and Raine saved me.) I’ll never forget the rejection and disappointment I felt when my oldest at 9 months went on a nursing strike and even LLL didn’t know what to say. But you know what? I’ll always remember the hilariously adorable look of both my babies smiles while they nursed. Or the little sigh of relief when they finally eat. I’ll always remember looking at them and thinking it’s because of my milk that baby is so chunky! And awkwardly lying in bed with each of them nursing off one side trying to make sure both were getting what they needed. I’ll always remember the comfort and security nursing gave them and the quiet cuddling and bonding time it gave me. Nursing really did help me build a special relationship with my boys.

I’ve never had to wean a child before. Raine just self weaned when he was ready. I can remember the last time he nursed. He was sick and asked in the morning to have “nom-noms” (as we call it). He never cried when he stopped and neither did I. It was so gradual and I think we were both ready. But I’m not sure I realized the significance of that chapter coming to an end because really nursing didn’t end for me. I know it will all hit me when Lyric stops.

I believe I have become attached to it as well. It’s become a part of life now. How bittersweet the end will be…

I’ve only ever heard people wish that they had breastfed longer. Never that they nursed their child too long.

Nursing: The Age-Old Turned Taboo

For the record, I may be a breastfeeding enthusiast but I am far from thinking I’m better than someone because they chose to formula feed. What I hate is the fact that i feel wrong breastfeeding my child because of all of the narrow-minded people that seem to think that natural is wrong. That I’m odd for not giving my child the imitation. The same way I get a sideways look when my kid is crying and I haven’t popped the pacifier that we don’t own in his mouth.

I would never make someone feel bad or strange for such a personal decision and I expect the same courtesy. But apparently in today’s society with everybody judging and thinking their way is the right way there is no room to let people make the best conscious decision for their situation without feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

I nursed my first born for 28 months. And I can guarantee you that if I hadn’t had the support of my husband and mother I wouldn’t have lasted even 6 months. Even with that support I hide behind the WHOs recommendation.

I’m embarrassed and proud of breastfeeding my 7 month old as well. I hate covering his head with a blanket while he eats. Yet if that’s what I have to do to get by nursing my child until he is ready to wean then that is what I will do with a smile on my face.

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